Eight Month: July 21st, 2013

That day was different. It was cloudy Sunday morning. I woke up at 6 a.m. as usual. The house was a mess, due to our scattered bags and unpacked stuffs and the residue from farewell dinner we had the night before. I had planned to go biking for the last time before I went back to town, so I did.

That day was different. I opened the garage's door, brought my bike out and started pedaling through my usual biking track. I decided not to bring along my earphones as usual. This time, I pedaled more slowly, breathed more deeply, and stared more to the view on my left and right rather than to the road I'm going through. I tried to sharpen all my senses, tried to absorb all the components of the village I was about to leave. The view of yellowish rice fields and green hills, the smell of morning grass and smoke from last night's fireplace, the sound of chickens and horses and some local people's greetings, and the chilly humid wind going through my face. I thought, I might or might not have the same experience in the future, so I wanted to save the memory of this place in my mind as much as I could.

That day was different. When I came back to the house, my friends were packing up the rest of our stuffs and cleaning up the house. I joined them in instance. We packed our stuffs in silence, we swept the floor in silence, we took a bath in silence, and we also had breakfast in silence, just as if we had different things going through our mind. Maybe some of us just realized that it was our last day in Madapangga and were in denial that we had to go back to town.

That day was different. A lady knocked on the door. The familiar voice called us. It was Bunda, our supervisor's wife. "This is it," I thought. When we opened the door, we saw the two figures that had been familiar to us for the past four months. We called the middle-aged man with grey hair and funny face "Pak Adi" and the lady with heart-warming smile on her lips all time "Bunda". Unlike any other days, that day we smiled awkwardly at each other. Farewell was getting near.

That day was different. It's been a while since the last time rain fall in Madapangga, but that day the rain chose to put extra melancholic nuance in Pak Adi's car which was taking us back to the city. The trip felt faster than ever, we felt like we arrived in town in just a blink of an eye. We arrived at our new home and we said good bye to Pak Adi and Bunda. Each of us had an odd handshake from Pak Adi and a big warm motherly hug from Bunda. With tears falling down our faces, we waved Pak Adi and Bunda good bye while their car was fading away.

That day was different. At least for me. It might be me who left Madapangga, but it was Madapangga which had left traces in me.

This post is specially dedicated to Pak Adi and Bunda, who have taught me a lot of life lessons during the four months I spent with them. Thank you for taking care of me and my friends as if we were your children, thank you for putting so much trust to five random persons that you barely know at first, and thank you for reminding us that there is so much more to life than just working your ass off days and nights for materials.

"Family isn't always about blood. It is the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to make you smile, and love you no matter what." - Anonym

I think I just found my new family in Madapangga! :)

Me, Dini, Bunda, and Pak Adi in front of Senggigi Beach, Lombok, July 12th, 2013

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Bulan Ketujuh: Momen Epik si Ibu Bidan

Suatu pagi yang cerah di PKM Madapangga.
Nia (N): "Bu, ibu menderita tekanan darah tinggi ya. Sebaiknya ibu mengurangi makan makanan asin, olah raga teratur, bla bla bla... "

Pasien (P): "Iyo" (angguk-angguk)

N: "Apa ibu sudah mengerti?"

P: (angguk-angguk dengan muka blank)

N: (curiga) "Kalau begitu silakan ambil obatnya di apotik, Bu."

P: (angguk-angguk tanpa tanda-tanda mau bergerak ke apotik)

N: "Bu, loa bahasa Indonesia?" ("Bu, bisa bahasa Indonesia?")

P: "Wati loa ni anaeee!" ("Tidak bisa nih, nakkk!")

N: (facepalm) "Lao ka apotik ta Ibu, ambil ja obat." ("Pergi ke apotik ya, Bu, ambil obatnya.")
P: (muka berbinar tanda mengerti) "Oo, iyo ta. Terima kasih Bu Bidan!"
N: "..."

***

Di hari  yang lain, seorang ibu datang membawa anaknya yang sudah 2 hari batuk dan demam.
N: "Aku periksa dulu ya anaknya, Bu."
Ibu pasien (IP): "Iya, Bu."
N: "Adek, buka mulutnya, yuk. Bilang 'Aaa..."
P: (tidak membuka mulut)
N: "Ayo buka mulutnya sebentar yuk, sayang."
P: (membekap kedua tangan di mulut)
IP: "AYO DONG BANG BUKA MULUTNYA, IBU BIDAN MAU PERIKSA!"

***

Beberapa minggu setelahnya, seorang ibu datang memeriksakan diri ke balai pengobatan. Setelah anamnesis dan pemeriksaan fisis, saya menyimpulkan ibu tersebut menderita vertigo. Saya memberi penjelasan bahwa ibu tersebut dapat dirawat di rumah, namun nampaknya dia tidak percaya dan  ingin diopname. Dia yakin dia mengalami pusing karena tekanan darah rendah dan harus diinfus. Dia pun menggerutu dalam bahasa Bima sambil berjalan keluar dari balai pengobatan.

Ternyata ibu tersebut tidak putus akal agar dirinya tetap diopname. Dia pun pergi ke IGD. Di sana dia bertemu dengan salah seorang teman sejawat saya. Dia mengatakan bahwa dia baru berobat dari balai pengobatan dan mendapat instruksi untuk segera diopname. Tak lama teman sejawat itu memanggil saya sambil tertawa geli, "NIA, PASIEN LO NIH KATANYA DISURUH DIOPNAME SAMA IBU BIDAN!"

***

Sebetulnya masih banyak momen-momen epik ketika saya dan semua sejawat saya yang berjenis kelamin perempuan mendapat panggilan "Ibu Bidan" dari masyarakat setempat. Setelah dipikir-pikir, wajar saja mereka menganggap kami bidan, karena selama belasan tahun terakhir, hanya ada satu dokter (yang kebetulan laki-laki) yang melayani masyarakat kecamatan Madapangga ini. Sepertinya sosok pria setengah baya dengan julukan "Pak Dokter" sudah terlalu melekat di benak mereka sehingga memanggil perempuan-perempuan usia 20-an seperti kami dengan julukan "Bu Dokter" nampak sangat tidak lazim.

Kali pertama dipanggil Ibu Bidan, saya masih berusaha menjelaskan bahwa saya adalah dokter, begitu pula dengan kali kedua dan ketiga. Mencapai kali kelima, keenam, dan ketujuh, saya mulai pasrah. Dalam benak saya, "Tak apalah masyarakat Madapangga mengingat saya sebagai Ibu Bidan, yang penting mereka mengingat saya sebagai seorang Ibu Bidan yang baik, sama seperti mereka mengingat Pak Dokter yang baik dan setia melayani mereka selama belasan tahun."

Sixth Month: Cooking Carnivale!

Working in primary healthcare service is challenging in times. It's been 3 months since I worked here in PKM Madapangga, Bima, and I'm still not getting used to so-called "the art of doing nothing". Yep, working in primary healthcare service is undoubtedly far less stressful than working in the general hospital. Daily, I have less than 10 patients. It's one-third of the patients I met during my work in the general hospital daily!

This over-relaxed daily routine quickly progress to boredom. Hence in the mood fighting the boredom and reducing the weight I've gained due to previous overeating (what else can I do when I'm bored?), I started to do my research on weight loss. So, there are four keys to healthy weight loss: eat clean, train regularly, sleep early, and drink a lot of water.

Working out, sleeping early, and drinking water are tolerable for me, but clean-eating is another story. From the result of my religious browsing, it is suggested that I cook two of the three meals I have in a day. Therefore, I can control the things that I stuck in my gut (it is called "conscious bite" by some people).  

Well, the problem was: I used to hate cooking! Even my mom had to drag me to the kitchen to help her cook back then. So who made me cook? Well, it's actually  not a "who", but a "what". It's Instagram! Thanks to all the pretty clean food pictures I saw, they successfully tempted me to bring my feet to the kitchen. 

So there goes my clean-food-cooking lesson. Some of my cooking failed, but some of them were successful. But there is one thing that matters most: I started to like cooking. It just feels good when you and your friends eat something that you make by yourself and you know you're nurturing yourselves with good things. Started as a time-killer, ended up to be a new hobby, clean eating and cooking showed some results: my weight went back to the previous number before I went to Bima PLUS all the immunity (I barely get sick lately!).

Even so, I still have my cheat-meal. It's very important that I enjoy my healthy-life journey. For a sweet tooth like me, cheat-meal means one thing: sugar! I still eat cakes and cookies as much as I want. Somehow it keeps me going and urges me to get back to my clean-eating for the next days. Well, we only live once so make the most of it: do what you love and eat what you like (once in a while)!

p.s: I'm not writing this to bluff myself, but to motivate young people to start healthy-living. I'm a beginner as well, but an expert was always a beginner once, right? 

Some of the clean food I made :)

Fifth Month: Learn to Make Lemonades

Hi there! 

Been a while since my last post, huh?

Actually I don't have any expectation that anyone would read my blog, but hey, some people do! Well the pressure is really on now! LOL

My internship now has passed the fifth month and I have moved to the community health center (Puskesmas/ PKM-red) rotation. It was located in Madapangga village, far away from Bima city, about 60 minutes by car. The village was located between hills and rice fields, reminds me of my dad's hometown. We live in our supervisor's home (which is humongous!) and we are provided with a motorcycle and an ambulance (both vehicles are as old as me) as our transportation means.

Well so much for intro! 

This week was frankly a very hard week for me. Me and the rest of the gang somehow were faced to a series of unfortunate events each and every day of the week. Starting from the broken stove, then comes the broken water pump, then our old ambulance called it quit and refused to be driven! To sum it up, our only hope, our  old old motorcycle, got flattened tire. Altogether with my premenstrual syndrome it was indeed a stressful week for me. But then I got a clear message today:

"As much as I want to complain about everything, life always shows me that I don't deserve to."

This afternoon I have to drag myself to buy groceries. Half tired and half grumbling, I pedaled my bike unwillingly to the market, 2 miles away from our house. On my way to the market, a guy passed my bike. He looks just like a normal guy, until my sight flashed through his legs. This guy only used one leg to pedal his bike. What about the other leg? It WAS there, but it was smaller then the other leg and it couldn't reach the bike's pedal, so it was rested on the pillar of the bike. He was cycling with one leg!

My heart was instantly shrunken. Wow, just in time I couldn't stop squawking about things, and BAM! this single-leg-biking guy hit me and shout to my mind "you have no clue about what you're complaining about!" I was so ashamed with the fact that I pray every morning that I can be content with what life gives me, but at the end of the day I refuse it. One of my friend said, "each moment in life is all we need". It is true. Whether we are in pain or in gain, just go through it in positive way because in both both ways, life is maturing us.

I'd like to end this post with a quote:

"If life gives you lemon, make lemonade out of it (or lemon tea, or cocktail, or anything! :p)"

Bulan Ketiga: Berjam-Jam untuk Lima Menit

Hi there!

Akhirnya seperempat masa internship sudah dilalui: bulan ketiga men! Hahaha.. Mau dibilang ga terasa ya terasa juga sih. Gue enjoy banget menjalani internship ini, cuma kadang-kadang rindu rumah udah pasti kan ya. Huhuhu..

Bulan ini gue lumayan banyak berpergian, hunting pantai-pantai bagus. So far gue udah ke pantai Kolo, pantai Rontu, dan pantai Wera. They're gorgeous, especially pantai Rontu! But that's not what I want to write about.

Pantai-pantai yang gue sebutkan di atas itu letaknya jauh dari kota (tempat gue kerja sekarang). Sekitar 2 jam perjalanan dengan mobil (I know, kalo di Jakarta emang ga berasa, tapi di daerah sepi macam Bima ini, 2 jam itu jauhhhh banget!). Jalanan yang dilalui juga jauh dari mulus dan lurus. Intinya penuh perjuangan deh. Buat orang-orang yang ga biasa, perjalanan ini bisa jadi tantangan tersendiri, karena harus mendaki gunung lewati lembah, dan bisa end up mual-muntah karena motion sickness. Gue yang jarang mabok darat aja mual di perjalanan ke pantai-pantai itu.

Nah, dalam kemualan dan kebetean gue karena ga nyampe-nyampe itulah tiba-tiba gue teringat pasien-pasien di rumah sakit. Mereka datang dari tempat-tempat yang jauh ini, bahkan lebih jauh, hanya untuk berobat ke rumah sakit tempat gue kerja di kota. Apa rasanya ya lo lagi sakit, harus ditambah mual dan bete karena perjalanan jauh, cuma untuk ditengok selama 5 menit oleh dokter?

Gue jadi tersentil sendiri. Ga jarang gue melakukan anamnesis dan PF seadanya ke pasien. Apalagi kalau pasiennya udah urutan 20 ke atas, udah mulai keder dan ga fokus. Ditambah perawat yang mulai memburu-buru kalau jam sudah mendekati waktu tutup poli, semua jadi serba kilat. Ga ada lagi cerita mau kasih tata laksana holistik dan komprehensif. Big fat guilty feeling strikes my heart.

Saat gue cerita ke temen gue soal guilty feeling ini, temen gue yang lagi dinas di IGD juga menimpali: "Apalagi gue, Ni. Rasanya ga enak banget kalo ternyata pasiennya dateng ke IGD malem-malem dari jauh dan ternyata ga harus dirawat inap. Jadi harus pulang malam itu juga."

Ternyata ga sampai di situ aja ceritanya. Dua minggu terakhir ini, alat Rontgen di rumah sakit rusak dan reagen di laboratorium pun habis. Alhasil, pasien Jamkesmas maupun Askes harus tetap mengeluarkan uang untuk pemeriksaan radiologi dan laboratorium di luar rumah sakit. Apa yang lo rasakan saat lo menangani pasien anak DBD (demam berdarah dengue) yang seharusnya dicek trombositnya tiap hari, tapi orang tuanya ga mampu bayar pemeriksaan laboratorium yang harusnya gratis? Gue yakin ga cuma gue yang mengalami hal ini. Teman-teman yang sudah atau sedang menjalani internship pasti pernah mengalami situasi yang sama.

Since then I commit to take more time to listen and talk to my patients. Apapun yang bisa gue usahakan untuk mereka, walaupun hanya hal-hal kecil seperti ngajarin cara bikin F-75 atau bahkan cara membersihkan telinga yang benar. Capek dan jenuh itu manusiawi sekali, tapi seenggaknya lo udah berusaha maksimal! Remember, it's not always about curing your patients, it's about giving your 100% for your patients.

This is a reminder for me and all of my colleagues out there. Good luck friends! :)

A Note To Myself

People have the tendency to be unsatisfactory;

Striving for a higher position at work, 

Dreaming of a fancier car,

Complaining for a bigger room, 

Craving for a slimmer body,

Seeking for a perfect partner, 

Expecting more in a relationship.

Know why? You use other's standard of happiness.

One thing you should learn: don't compare yourself with other's situation, you never know what's going on behind the scene.

That higher position may come along with more contenders to defeat, 

That fancier car may come along with pricey maintenance cost,

That bigger room may come along with deeper silence,

That slimmer body may not come with a good lab result,

That perfect partner may come with psychiatric issues, 

And the relationship that you expect to go further may go oppositely.

Life doesn't always go the way you want it to be. Just be grateful for what you are and what you have now. This, you have to digest.